I’ve noticed in myself lately how I spent so much time learning and reading and exploring and discovering in the past few years of my life. But also noticed times here and there when I don’t apply what I’ve learned. I don’t apply the same things I advise others.
It made me think: What have I been doing? Why have I been spending all this time and energy and attention learning these things, and then not live by them? What’s the point? Was the point to wear them on my sleeve to share with people? Was it a power play so that when I give advice to other I seem knowledgable and wise? If so, all I wanted was power, and this was such a terrible and ineffective way to get it.
There’s this vast world of self-help and literature that’s all about learning about ourselves. What’s the point of it? What’s the point in learning about these things and learning about myself? Why learn these lessons about overcoming fear? or exploring the unconscious? or journaling? or improving sleep? or building better habits? or overcoming social anxiety? etc
Why learn how to be courageous if you never internalize it and face your most present fears which prevent you from living your life freely? What’s the point in learning about sleep if you never fix and improve your sleep? What’s the point in learning about anxiety if you never really try to reduce your daily anxiety to a manageable and healthy level?
The point of the learning material on anxiety is to help you reach the objective of living free from constant anxiety. Do you really aim at that goal? Do you really want to live free from this chronic crippling anxiety? Have you decided you want to be free from your fears? Have you decided you want to be free at all? Free from anxiety, from fatigue, from fears?
The purpose behind learning is to internalize these principles and lessons learned from millennia of human experience and wisdom, so many lifetimes of experience behind you, in order to live a better life.
I think, strangely enough, we tend to not decide we want to live a better life. We don’t decide that. We sort of aim at learning about anxiety as a reaction to our anxiety, not as a consequence of our decision to be free from our anxiety. When we do that, we aren’t in control, the anxiety is.
To be fair though, this is a journey we all go through.